I should have been keeping vigil
but slept while tumor entwined artery
and vein, nourished while it devoured
her blood its blood,
thriving in the exchange.
Failure feeds obsession,
taken root in me this woman
not yet forty, a trellis of ribs counting
on false hope. I remember
her with hair flowing curly brunette.
Guilt rewinds and replays,
replays then rewinds, cannot be unplugged.
Missteps miscues rehashed retraced
scrubbed rescrubbed there are stains
on my white coat.