Edge Habitat

Come / home. Everything is begging you.


— Ada Limón

We come upon it rounding the edge
of Brook Hollow — the sign that marks
the verge along the path.

Storm-weathered, standing at angle,
worn fence post beside it, barbed wire
and bramble interlaced at its base.

And just beyond, through a scrim
of bittersweet, wind-blown pasture —
orderly lines and rows of new-mown grass.

Everything is happening here —
a respiration, an adaptation, a kind
of survival. Edge habitat, the sign

tells me, is a transition zone
between two adjacent habitats
but where is the edge I’ve been

walking, the place of transition?
Where is the fence of the body,
the wall of the breath?

***

edge, noun.
The thin sharpened side of the blade
of a cutting instrument or weapon;
opposed to the ‘back’ or blunt side

edge, verb.
To harrow.

***

When my son was born, he almost
wasn’t born. He was blue as another
planet — no heartbeat, no breath.

So I breathed for him as we watched
from the edge of the room — I sang beneath
my breath as they rubbed him down,

as their hands, so many, impressed
on his heart to keep beating, wanting him
here to that rhythm, wherever here is —

I sang, praying hard to this world
to hold him close, and though I like to think
my song was what brought him through,

it was their care, their genius
that carried him back from the brink —
it was others who bore him, this world

in the form of their hands,
when the boundary line of my
body wouldn’t release him.

***

on edge
anxious, nervous

***

As a child I was terrified of edges —
of needle-points, blades in the eye.
I imagined that wounding as hard

as I possibly could, saw the prick
and pop of membrane, the stream
of ichor. I thought if I could see

it hard enough — see it through
in my mind to its logical conclusion —
I wouldn’t actually see it

through with my own two hands.
It worked — I still have my eyes,
but my mind has its blindness:

it forgets how to see
there’s a place between fear
and wonder.

***

edge, noun.
incisive or penetrating quality

***

And maybe none of this
is new so much as all of this
is always already new —

maybe no edges exist
when all the world is an edge,
when there is nothing

we can make of all this
except making it, nothing
we can see except what is

here. The hardest thing of all
to see is what is really there
J.A. Baker with his peregrines,

like the one I’ve seen pricking
the power lines over the street
and now spiraling over the field

with the knife of its beak.
A knife, an edge, a scalpel
that opened me up — opened me

just enough to pull him through
into living and dying and living
and dying to live, into being here,

being an edge on this edge
of all things—into feeling his
being, insistent as a blade.

***

on edge
adjoining, close by

***

Edge habitats are more diverse
than adjacent habitats — this too
on the sign by the path

where I’ve been standing, all
nerve and hormone, all flight
and intrusive thought. Showing

already — my second child’s heart
throbbing low in my belly. The orbs
of his eyes fully formed, the lungs

near finished — Will he breathe?
I have to worry. Will he live?
Consulting the sign again,

I read that species requiring both
open and forested areas utilize
edge habitat. Which will he be,

I wonder — forest or field, or something
of both? No knowing, no telling,
but always this constant carrying —

always already here inside me,
already at home. The hardest thing
to see is what’s really here.

***

edge, variant of age, noun.
The length of time (sometimes given
as a specified number of years)
that a living thing, as a person, animal,
plant, etc., has lived.

edge, noun.
a favorable margin

***

So here he is, and here I am,
and here we are, and I’ve been
trying so hard to be at home

in this world that I’ve forgotten
I’m already here at home
in this world — and maybe this

can be a kind of home, a kind
of habitat, a breath flooding in
and out of a body littoral, for

if depression is stagnation, what
isn’t this world? Who aren’t we
but our own transitions, our mean

evolutions? Fear and wonder
and somewhere between — the hardest
to see. Everywhere and nowhere

but mostly everywhere — these forests
and fields overlapping, these creek beds
of care. We are here for now

watching the peregrine riding
the thermals — until my son kicks
and I’m walking the path toward

home, my two eyes widening slowly
with fear and wonder, an animal
who has never been more human.

 

 

 

*Definitions of “edge” and related phrases were lifted from Merriam Webster Dictionary and OED online.

*“if depression is stagnation” is a modified line from Sandra Cisneros’ essay “The Beautiful Unforeseen” — “What is depression if not stagnation?” — published in Orion, Autumn 2022.

Click here to read Elizabeth Moore on the origin of the poem.

Elizabeth Moore:

I wrote this poem in spring, 2024, while pregnant with my second child. I had recently been diagnosed with obsessive compulsive disorder, a chronic but manageable mental health condition with which I’ve been living for most of my life. In addition to wanting to learn how to manage the condition — which can often present or flare up in pregnancy and postpartum — I was anxious about delivering my second child after experiencing a traumatic delivery for my first. Brook Hollow, a land trust not far from our home, was a place to walk and process, to think and feel. As I learned more about edge habitats like that one, and as I increasingly confronted my own raw edges, I thought about what it means to be perpetually “on edge” — to be here, alive and dying in this body, on the double-edged sword of everything. The poem grew from those thoughts and questions, and while I don’t know if I’ve found (or ever will find) answers, I did find an invitation — to openness and acceptance, to care and kindness. This felt like a way forward, if not a way home.

My second son was born that following summer. I continue to love learning who my children are, who I am, and what this world is, day by day, word by word, and poem by poem — rough edges and all.

Image by josh ludahl on unsplash.com, licensed under CC 2.0.

Elizabeth Moore
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