I Am Never Tired

I am never tired.
I am consumed by the what-ifs.
A 100 pound mother in boxing gloves with starry eyeteeth.

You can not tell me to let it die.
I will not let it die.

My furnace is stoked with yesterday’s newsprint
dirty fingers licked by white sleeves,
silver smoke smothering rational thought.

But rational thought is but a white flag,
and I am a-boil in shaky embers and the bluest of ash.
I am aware that we are both a-simmer
vein deep in illogical warfare.

Stab your self-made kewpie doll
with poppy laden precision,
but I will not be detracted from the stoking,
gathering tiny fairy twigs and discarded birthday ribbons.

I am a swollen bonfire
belching a message to the sky.
There will be no scorched earth today.
No more clotted dirt and darkened eye.

I am so very, very busy.
You see this fire, your fire,
I will not let it die.



Click here to read Annemarie Whilton on the origin of the poem.

Image by Luke Porter on unsplash.com, licensed under CC 2.0.

Annemarie Whilton:

This poem is about mothering a child who suffers from the disease of addiction. Rather predictably, it uses the language of warfare. The war, however, is an internal one — and the resulting fire only serves as fuel for the engine of motherhood. Trying to control the situation is illogical, but quitting is never an option. The short stanzas are deliberate — to accentuate the sputtering argument with self, with my child, with the universe itself.

Annemarie Whilton
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